When I was watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy this morning, a line from the show really stuck with me: “You’re supposed to be a shark, so why are you a minnow? Who made you so quiet?”
Pretty much all my life, I’ve been a minnow. Nobody made me quiet; I’ve just always been this way. I prefer when things are quieter and people are getting along. I don’t like to ruffle people’s feathers. I don’t like confrontation. I’m a minnow.
I’ve struggled with my assertiveness for a while now, and I just can’t seem to find a way to get over that and become a shark. I read books, I google quotes on the internet. I need to try something new.
In my book club we’re reading “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg, and in our last meeting we all made Lean In goals. We plan to update each other on the progress of our goals at our next meeting. I was having trouble coming up with an idea for a goal, and then assertiveness came to my mind.
I need to be more assertive. I need to stand up, take charge and stop letting others walk all over me. I need to be known for more than just being a nice girl. I know I have talent and skill and knowledge, but if I never tell anyone that or show it through my work, will anything change? No.
I need to learn how to be a shark. A nice shark, but a shark nonetheless. I need to push myself to come up with great ideas and run with them. I need to speak up with I don’t think things are fair. I need to take charge and do things instead of asking if it’s okay if I maybe do something (within reason). I need to take risks. I need to lean in more.
I used to think there was nothing wrong with being a minnow. You don’t cause anyone to be angry, but you don’t really make people happy, either. You’re just kinda…there. I used to think there was nothing wrong with that. But I was wrong.
I don’t want to just exist. I don’t want to just be here, watching others take charge and achieve their goals. I want to take charge and achieve MY goals.
It’s time for me to take a bite out of life, as they say. And I’m gonna take a pretty big bite.
Words Are My Life 